ICUP

When you were little did you ever play the joke on your friends where you make them say 'I' and then spell the word 'CUP'?
Such a funny one.
Because when they say it out loud and all together it sounds like "I see you pee."
LOL
Well this funny little trick has taken on new meaning to me since I started my NCAA swimming career.
We sit through countless meetings at the beginning of every year about drugs.
What not to take.
What is considered 'performance enhancing.'
What will happen if you use.
I have never had a problem with this.
Fortunately I do not struggle with the temptation to use drugs.
But for some reason unbeknownst to me, I have been "randomly selected" all four years here at BYU to participate in "NCAA Random Drug Testing."
Let me walk you through this process....I am an expert at this point.
First you walk into a room and fill out paper work including social security info, birth date, prescription and over the counter drugs you take, etc.
You think that's personal....just you wait.
Then you get this plastic cup and an NCAA representative follows you into the restroom.
Here comes the best part....
You go into the stall to do your business and the rep comes with you.
Yup.
Just you two.
In a bathroom stall together.
They have to watch you pee so you don't pull any kind of switcharoo.
After filling your cup to a certain black line, you take your "specimen" (specimen=pee, urine, #1, wiz, etc.) and carry it back to the paperwork room and set it on a table.
All of the other "randomly selected" athletes look at the color of your specimen and make awkward comments about your hydration.
Once you get there you have to carefully pour your "specimen" into a small tube.
Careful...don't spill.
Then your little warm tube is sent off to be thoroughly tested.
Today I had to do this for the fourth time.
Let us all hope and pray that this is the last time someone will have to watch me create a specimen.